I think one of the biggest reasons I started this blog (even though I didn't know it at the time) was to keep me humble. So far this is a bog about ideals and goals, but hardly more. I'm starting to see how difficult it is to live up to my dreams. I know, I'm a little slow. It's so easy to think, "I will live this way tomorrow." Then the next day comes. Buh, buh, bum! Like I said, I hope this blogs helps me stay humble. It certainly isn't a record of my great victories like I hoped it would be by now. In all honesty, my track record isn't very pretty. Not that I'm about to give up. Don't get my wrong, I don't have the right to give up. And in all actuality I don't even want to. I mean, I do, but I don't. But how do I live every moment fully?
Something that has really struck me lately is how futile theology is if it doesn't have an impact on the way I live. If I say I believe something but I don't live by it, my belief is a lie. I can mentally have a perfect theology and philosophy for life but if my life doesn't reflect what my mind believes I might as well believe any lie. My actions are driven by something deeper than just my mind. My inner being (call it heart, spirit, whatever) is always reflected by my actions. So how do I make truth penetrate through my mind and into my life?
I don't have the answer. At least not in it's entirety. But I know the One who does. I trust that He is able to navigate His truth past my mental roadblocks and plant it firmly in my life. So I press forward, confident that as God cultivates His crop in my life His truth will grow and overcome the lies I so easily believe.
Have you ever had one of those experiences where suddenly it hit you that it was time to be more mature? Kind of a call to a higher standard. Today was kind of like that in a small way. I realized that it is time for me to be the man I always knew I needed to grow into. I never realized how soon this day would come. Time to put away childish things. Time to take another step in faith, knowing that I can never be who I need to be on my own. The sheer impossibility of the standard I have been called to is mind-boggling. I mean, "Be perfect, as I am Perfect?" C'mon, really? But it's time to take God at His word and Live. He said that is the standard and I'm pretty confident He wasn't kidding. The only conclusion I'm left with is that He somehow will make this possible.
I know I'll fail again. I always do. The only thing more predictable is that God will be right there, ready to pick me back up, set me on my feet, and point me in the right direction again. And as I decrease, and He increases the falls will be less frequent, though maybe not less painful. He is faithful.